"So, who's the man in the bedroom".
I have heard this ridiculous question so many times since I started seeing/dating...what's the word used now? Anyway, since I've been in a relationship with Nat, who is....a woman!
Shock horror I know.
But funnily enough, never once did that question or other bedroom related questions slip casually in to conversations when I was in a relationship with a man.
Yes, another shock, horror I know...
I have noticed a few things since 'becoming a lesbian', you know, like how you just 'become a vegan' or 'become tanned', because being a lesbian is just another life choice or fad.
Side note, for those a little sensitive types, I have nothing against vegans, this is no vegan dig, just an example of people making a life choice rather than just being born that way. I'm assuming people aren't born vegan, but that they instead choose to make the sacrifice?
People ask stupid questions, and people ask deeply personal questions, like being in a same sex relationship is an open house for idiots to spurt their brain nonsense all over you and ask you about your sex life.
I remember one New Years Eve a man, and I don't mean this in a mean way but an older not the most attractive man, came over to us and offered to have a threesome with us, like he was offering us some massive favour lending us his penis for the night. When we declined he said....
"But, I have an apartment"
He said this in a genuine way like this would change our mind. Oh well, a man with a penis and an apartment was just what we were looking for to no longer want the boobies. Sigh. It really did take him a while to take the hint that we were actually in a happy relationship and did not need or want his or any other penis.
Penis, such a good word, makes me chuckle, penis... Just not a fan of the actual thing! Sorry, tmi!
It does seem to be rather unfathomable (another good word) to so many people that two woman can be quite happy and content with each other in a relationship without feeling a massive man shaped gap missing.
That when we have sex, we do not miss a penis, we do not need one quite honestly.
That we can both equally cook, clean and do DIY. (OK, OK, I may not be awesome at DIY but I can lift and build shit thank you very much...)
That we can have a very happy, loving and meaningful relationship. Just like any other couple.
So, to answer your question you ignoramus
Neither of us is the man in the bedroom, just like neither of your fingers are toes. We are two women. Quite frankly our sex life is completely different on so many levels that it wouldn't be compatible or enjoyable for either one of us to be the man.
So please, before you think of asking someone in a same sex couple who is the man in the bedroom, just ask yourself, would you be quite happy someone asking you questions about your sex life. No? Then shush!
TPFN - Toodle Pip For Now
Kyra x
PS. Yes, lesbian sex is fucking incredible thank you very much!
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