Oh dear.
I think this has gone too far now.
Far too far in fact.
I have left the house dressed in shorts, which would be fine if....
I did not have the longest black hairs ever imaginable on my legs!
I could have shaved them. I even shaved a patch, I'm proud of my lovely smooth patch. However, in an act of defiance I decided that no, I would not shave my legs, we are in lockdown.
The problem is, I'm not entirely sure who or what I was being defiant against...
I've even proudly declared that I have the most masculine legs in the house while sat, legs outstretched, outside even. The horror.
I thought nothing of it. We needed milk and bread so I grabbed my bag and bits and tottered off to the shop without a second thought for my man legs.
Well, what a mistaka to maka!
If the look alone did not bother me the world itself was going to make damn sure that it was going to get it's revenge on me for daring to grace it's outside presence with my man legs.
So I'm walking along and, oh dear god...the itch! My hairs started to dance and have a party on my legs. Completely ignoring any social distancing they danced the tango, canoodled passionately and had a gang war in the breeze.
I stand in the queue outside look down at my legs and say
Did you really have to come out in fancy dress? I do not feel like two chewbacca babies would be welcome in a coop to be honest. I just cant take you anywhere.
Then you realise...you are not alone. You now have 1 confused looking grandad, 2 you bloody weirdo looking teenagers, 1 bloke trying not to stare at my man legs, probably jealous to be honest and a nurse wondering if she needs to have me committed.
And all I could think to say...
Kids eh?
I shit you not little Chumlins.
Luckily, thank the stars, I was next in to the shop
I would have dashed home. But I was in flip flops and flip flops do not allow for dashing.
Instead I devised a plan to shave my legs immediately if not sooner.
Lolz. I have kids. They need attention and feeding and watering and all that.
Lou has looked at me in disgrace.
Boo has asked if his legs will look like that when he is older.
The 8 year old has offered to shave my legs, or plait them.
Oh, and Lou has just pointed out my shorts are on inside out.
Marvellous. Great start to the day.
TPFN
Kyra x
PS. Lou even points out I've not even done my hair and look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards, front wards and side ways.
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