So....bit of a bad Mummy moment this morning. Well, you could put it that way...
Yesterday all the olders finished school for the holidays. I very excitedly turned off my alarm; school run free for the week, woohoo!
I'm woken up by this little voice saying;
Mummy, will you take me to school, I think the register has probably already been done...
Oh crap! Boo is still at school!!
Can we Just take a moment to appreciate that he has actually woken me up to go to school. Remember the days of lying there as the time to get up approaches hoping that mum/dad/auntie/grandad/whoever had slept in meaning a day off school? No? No...me neither...ahem
Quick check of the time, 8.42, what time do the start again?! (thanks morning brain!). Arg! 8.45!! I fly out of bed, throw clothes on, run a brush through my hair and run downstairs. Cereal ready, quick morning wee and we are out of the door for 8.50.
Heading out the door and Boo says;
"I didn't know if I should wake you, I didn't know if you would want a nice sleep in and we could just be there for the afternoon register and say we just wanted a nice sleep in"
Oh heck, erm....
We arrive to school for just after 9 and somehow can't park. I figured it would be quiet by now... Pretty much abandon the car, I'll only be a minute, and we jump out of the car and start our walk of shame. There we are chanting, walk of shame, walk of shame, like you do, when we start jogging so Boo starts 'jog of shame, jog of shame'. By the time we reach the door we are on 'run of shame, run of shame'.
Problem, I'm then practically dying of lack of breath by the time we are in reception...marvellous.
'Reason for lateness?'
Well, try and explain that you thought it was the school holidays so turned your alarm off so your child had to wake you up and ask if you would take him to school, while trying to catch your breath, complete with wild hair and a generally dishevelled appearance and still look like a nice normal sane parent. Fail.
Anyway, parenting done, I can now go home and attempt to look like a human being before carrying about the day.
Wrong!!
Boo has got Star of the Week.
Now, how would you expect a parent to react when told that their child has received Star of the Week, bare in mind, Star of the Week is obviously a very good thing, there is only one per class.
"Wow, that's great news!"?
"Oh fantastic, I'm so proud"?
How about....
"Oh God no...."
Yeah, not my finest moment. But let me explain...
While Star of the Week is fantastic, it does mean one thing, awards assembly, in the hall, with the whole school, plus parents... Right. Now.
Oh Fuck a Duck!
My hair is a wild frizzy mess due to it being washed and damp when I went to bed. I have absolutely no make up on but some lovely red marks all over my chin. Deodorant has not touched my body never mind perfume. I have morning breath. The coat I chose to wear, in my rush, is one that doesn't quite fit so it pulls your arms back. Oh, and as I look down my jeans are mucky!
Great. Marvellous. Perfect.
So there I am, being guided in to the full, packed hall by a very nice happy, smiley, normal, non dishevelled looking staff member. The hall is absolutely packed, and I swear everyone turns to look.
Walk of shame number 2.
A child in a wheelchair has to move to let me past, I have to climb over children to get to the parent seating and then squeeze past the parents to the spare seat, at the back, in the middle, of course...
So there I sit, trying to cover up the mess of my jeans, not breath on anyone, or move my arms too much while I clap, which luckily, I can't because there is no room for movement in this coat...Don't even get me started on the point where I start overheating but can't get the coat off...
Boo gets his award and don't get me wrong, it is a lovely, proud mummy moment. He is being a star around school and receiving lots of praise from various members of staff. I video, I take pictures, I do the proud mum thing. Then the assembly starts coming to a close and I am ready to leave, I feel so uncomfortable and cannot wait to get home and humanise.
Wrong!!
Parents you are invited for refreshments.
Great. But it's ok, I just won't go...
Wrong!!
Your child will join you. *Sigh*. After bad mummy moment of this morning I cannot miss this. One problem, well, another one... I have T in the car...oops!
Walk of Shame number 3
So, I then have to walk the opposite way to everyone else, looking like a very bad mummy, to go get him from the car, and then....
Walk of Shame number 4
Back in to school and through the hall, where the assembly is still going on! Climb over children once again to get to the back, and, as I am climbing over the benches at the back, T steps on the back of my shoe and sends me flying... there are no words... There I have to casually put my shoe back on while he is laughing and apologising and not being even a little bit quiet about it and continue my walk of extra shame. Thanks T!
On the plus side, as we walk in, Boo is about to sit alone with his heart shaped biscuit and juice and his face lights up as he sees me. Yes! He runs over and gives me the biscuit, awww! Parenting win.
The exchange is so lovely and cute, the school person taking pictures of the event takes a picture, splendid... my non humanised state saved forever, joy.
Anyway, we have coffee, yay, and we cuddle and chat and it is all very nice actually. I just crouched down and used Boo as a human shield from all eyes.
Surprisingly we are the last to leave. Well not only do I need to have sweet mummy moments with my boy, but I also need to make sure every staff member and anyone else who will listen knows that the reason I look this....dishevelled is due to thinking school was closed...obviously..
So, here we are. It was certainly an interesting start to the morning! On a plus note, if we weren't late I wouldn't have known about the assembly!
Oh, and Happy Valentines Day little chumlins!
TPFN - Toodle Pip For Now,
Kyra x
Well, we've got to laugh at ourselves soemtimes right?! Glad that my misfortune brought you a laugh 😋 Thank you, he's very pleased with himself xx
Thank you for being willing to put this out there, it definitely brought me a good laugh today! Congratulations to Boo for Star of the Week!!!