So this attempts thing… It appears to be working a little too well. I keep being accepted for the things I randomly do and, well, I can’t keep up. For example: I got the freaking job!! I am officially a Stage Door Keeper at Bradford Live! Also, I applied to be a model on a fashion catwalk show. Now I use the word ‘model’ lightly as they did ask for a variety of people, so I thought, feck it, this is my attempt era, why the devil not… I did model as a child, ya know, at like 3

I nearly didn’t write this. Not because I didn’t have words, oh, I had plenty, but because sometimes the bravest thing is knowing when to speak. And now feels like the right moment. The show has closed. The curtain has fallen. I’ve sat in the audience and watched people I care deeply about take their bows, felt that familiar lump in my throat during the final number… and I realised something quietly important: This story has a happy ending. Not the one I expected. But a real

So, I kinda feel like I’m in one of those confessional booths…. “Forgive me, it has been…. way too long since my last blog. “ …..again. But I’ll tell you what, I’m not going to apologise, because, quite honestly, that just gets boring. Instead, I recorded a voice note and now I will transcribe that below in to bloggy format. Here goes! (Buckle in, my speaking brain is even more chasotic than my typing brain! And in the spirit of that, I have done very little formatting! ) So

Well shit a brick, fuck a duck and whet a whistle (Ok, i made that last one up, I think, but i felt i needed a 3rd!) Anyhoo, my brain has had a brain explosion, yes, another one, but this one could be crazy enough to work! This will require some a to 3 to square to z explaining! So buckle up Chumlins as we deep drive in to my brain thought process! Brain Thought #1 The 1000 rejections I first saw this on instagram late last year and now it’s all over my timelines and feeds

Remember last last Sunday when I was supposed to write you a lovely blog post? Yeah, that didn’t happen. Want to know why? Because I was knee-deep in a muddy park, whispering aggressive threats at people who dared look at my prop table. “TYBALT, I SWEAR TO GOD, STEP AWAY FROM THE SWORDS” Turns out, volunteering for Saltaire Shakespeare was like agreeing to stage-manage my own ADHD brain… in a monsoon… while wearing flip-flops.

Remember when I said weekly blogs forever? (Aww) Yeah, that lasted about as long as my New Year’s resolution to drink more water (spoiler: I forgot by January 3rd, but I am doing better this month thanks to a ridiculously wanky cup…). Anyhoo…here’s what actually happened: Week 1: “I’M A BLOGGER NOW! Look at me being all professional and shit!” Week 2: “This is fiiiine. I can absolutely do this every week.” Week 3: “Why does my brain feel like soup? Also, what day is it? Who a