Oh little Chumlins, isn't it funny how a song can bring on so many feelings. Can bring so many memories flooding back.
Right now Nat has just put Titanic on, and as the opening credits song, Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On, starts playing I instantly feel sick in my stomach, heavy in my chest and a lump in my throat.
But maybe it isn't the song, which was played at my Mum's funeral as the curtains closed on her coffin. It could be the film itself.
Blimey, I feel this is going to get deep, hold on tight! We will both be OK!
I've always tried avoiding sad films as much as possible, I don't like the way they make me feel. Not in a childish, I don't like feeling sad way, but in a different way, a deeper way.
Now I'm not going to lie to you, to go all deep and OTT with you and elaborate and tell you that I feel like I am experiencing what they are in the film. Come on, that's a bit much even for me.
But
There is something there. A feeling in my chest, heavy and constricting.
Well, it's not very fun to say the least little Chumlin, no it is not!
Even now, as Jack screams that he is king of the world, I'm starting to feel the deep sadness of his impending doom. Poor guy.
This is bloody ridiculous! This is a made up character. It is not real.
I could try and redeem myself by stating that this did happen, maybe not to him, but the event happened...
When I watched 'Boy in the stripped Pyjamas' I cried solidly for 40 minutes, violently sobbing on Nat for a good chunk of it. Sounds dramatic? It was, ridiculously so...
However.
If something bad happens in a complete fiction, a soap for example (not that I watch any anymore, they take over your life if you keep up with them all, strict schedule or what?!), I still get the same feeling and can cry like an actual baby...
Oh bloody hell, she's going to jump, that's giving me the anxiety in my chest, even though I know she obviously isn't...sigh, ridiculous.
Don't even get me started on my watching scary films, perhaps that could be another blog!
However, the actual original point I was thinking for this blog was actually how a song can bring back memories. Like...the other day Shut Up and Dance came on the radio and I started smiling like a Cheshire cat remembering a panto I performed in that was utterly amazing and incredible and, you know, happy happy memories making.
But, I do feel like I am rambling on even for me so I will say Adieu?! Adios! and maybe we will try this again another time!
TPFN
Kyra x
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